I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
