I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
