were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize