Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
