is your mom at the bar?
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
My hand turned me down
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
