North Korea, Best Korea!
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
