Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Please don't give away my fajitas
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
