weddingsv make me drug and hornr
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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