I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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