So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
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Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
We have started to decorate penises.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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