i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
