her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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