Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
