We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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