This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
