i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
there's paper in my vomit.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
