it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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