I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
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did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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