I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
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I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me