Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.