I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I just found puke in my bra..
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...