Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
