it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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