and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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