Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
