38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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