Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
