at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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