So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
too bad you live with your parents still
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
We were destined to go to rehab together
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
