I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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