I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
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you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
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I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
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