Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH