We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much