yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.