How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Randomize
