I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?