The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.