Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I want to have your abortion
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
