You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
