all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
