I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I have feelings that need drinking.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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