you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
