Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
