Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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