Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
