If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
