called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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