My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
how does that bad decision feel?
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