I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
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