that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
this boner is exhausting
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
