Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
