I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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