life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
