David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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