She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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