she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
