at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
