but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
