if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
