I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
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