I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
