Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
