dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
As shirtless as possible
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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