If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
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