My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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