She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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