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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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