fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
