I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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