so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
