well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
