So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
